Harrison’s Birth Story

Since starting my blogging journey in 2015 I’ve shared getting married, moving, career changes, getting pregnant and more so sharing my birth story with Harrison is no different. This blog continues to serve as a digital scrapbook for me as my life continues to evolve. My hope is also that for other moms reading my birth story can help you in some way whether that’s to become a little less scared, more prepared, or give you peace.

I do want to add a trigger warning for blood before you keep reading.

I had a relatively normal pregnancy from the beginning, for the first several months my tests were normal, the 20-week anatomy scan was normal, and everything was right on track. Around 5 months, they found an abnormality with my placenta but I was told it was nothing to be concerned about, then at about 7 months, I was told I had placenta previa. This is where the placenta is sitting right on top of the cervix, blocking the birth canal. Everyone remained positive and said there was still a chance to move as my uterus expanded. I kept praying this would happen, but fast forward a few weeks I was told I needed to schedule a c-section with the hope that things could change and we could always cancel if needed. Looking back I think my maternal fetal medicine doctor gave me a little false hope and didn’t fully explain the severity of the situation. I was put on pelvic rest from then on but still had in the back of my mind things could change.

The final call for the c-section scheduled for December 31st was going to be made on December 29th by my OBGYN and MFM doctor. As a planner, this stressed me the heck out, I didn’t love that I would only have confirmation a few days before. Because of the placenta previa, they wanted me to deliver at 37 weeks because it could be really dangerous for me and Harrison to show any signs of labor with my placenta blocking my cervix.

I was going for ultrasounds every other week and at my last ultrasound before Christmas I began to really worry about Harrison’s weight. Everyone seemed to be ok with it but in my gut, I just knew if he was coming at 37 weeks his weight wasn’t where it needed to be. So during Christmas, I spent a lot of days bulking up on Christmas Tree cakes and lots of things that would hopefully help him and I gain weight.

It’s so funny looking back at how a lot of the decisions I made were things I knew in my gut but now I can see were mother’s intuition.

Since I was planning on delivering on December 31st I had decided I wanted a low-key Christmas. I wanted to celebrate with my family the Saturday before with them coming to our house so I could be close to the hospital if needed and on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day I wanted it to be just Jared and I as we soaked up the last little bit of our life as we knew it.

On Christmas Eve, we went to a nice dinner and then got hot chocolate and drove around looking at Christmas lights followed by some Christmas movies. On Christmas Day, we opened gifts, slept in, made cinnamon rolls, and had a very lazy day watching the Christmas parade and Christmas movies.

We went to bed just like every other night. I struggled with really bad heartburn the last trimester so around 1 am I woke up searching for some Tums and sat in the recliner in our bedroom thinking sitting upright would help. I literally felt like a fire-breathing dragon. Eventually, I just couldn’t get comfortable so I moved back into the bed.

Around 3 AM, I woke up to a feeling of me thinking I wet the bed. I got up and rushed to the bathroom. I thought it was weird but a lot of women say they have trouble controlling their bladder in the third trimester, I hadn’t experienced that but I didn’t think much of it. It was dark so I kept the lights off in the bathroom after a few minutes something felt off so I got up and waddled to turn the light on. In that instance, a wave of fear rushed over me. When I turned the lights on in our bathroom it was covered in blood. Truly it was the scariest thing I had ever experienced. In an effort to not totally scare Jared, I managed to not scream bloody murder but firmly and calmly yell at him to wake up. Once he came in and saw me crying with all of the blood he leaped into action. I was frozen trying to think of what to do, what to wear to even get in the car, and what I needed to grab.

Luckily, Jared was begging me to pack a hospital bag a few weeks prior which wasn’t completely done but had the essentials in it. He grabbed it and I grabbed some mesh underwear, towels, and a robe and got in the car. Our hospital is about 20 minutes away and that drive was the longest 20 minutes of my life. I just kept praying for Harrison to kick me or move in some way to let me know he was ok.

I’m really thankful we had gone on a hospital tour a few weeks before because we knew exactly where to go, what to expect, and what to do. The whole drive there I was asking if we should have gone to the hospital closest to our house but Jared reassured me it would be better to hop on the I-75 and go to the hospital with my doctors and all my records. He was definitely RIGHT!

Once I got into triage, they monitored Harrison along with my bleeding for a few hours. Eventually, around 7 AM, they transferred me into a holding room to continue to monitor and wait for the on-call doctors to switch and make a decision. I went to the bathroom and when I came back Harrison’s heartrate at significantly dropped for just a few minutes because of this, and given that my scheduled c-section was just a few days later, my doctor came in and said “how about we just have this baby today?” given the circumstances I kind of figured this was going to happen, however, this was NOT the plan and now I had to mentally prepare!

We called my parents to let them know the situation and asked them to go get Beau and if they could clean up our bathroom along with us bring us some additional items like blankets, pillows, etc.

Around 9 AM I started prepping for my c-section, I had done all the research on c-sections but until you’re being wheeled back there it’s totally different. I was very concerned about throwing up during the procedure. I had been so nauseous my whole pregnancy and when I get nervous I just generally get nauseous, so I didn’t want to throw up while on the operating table. Thankfully, the anesthesiologist was so understanding and helped me manage the nausea.

The whole operating staff was so kind and made me feel at ease as much as possible. My one request was to make sure I did skin-to-skin after he was delivered. Because we were prepped for a c-section Jared and I did have a plan as far as my wishes and how he would go with Harrison if there were any complications and after he was delivered Jared would go over to the warming station. This made it really easy because we had somewhat of a plan going in.

Once Harrison was delivered at 9:53 AM at 5 pounds 3 ounces, they were worried about his breathing. He was working really hard to breathe and they had to assist him with oxygen. They tried really hard to get to get him to breathe easy on his own but after a good while they decided he needed to go to the NICU.

This was such a blur, but I remember Jared going with Harrison and I went to recovery. Out of all the possibilities I worried about and thought through, the NICU wasn’t something that even crossed my mind. Looking back at every doctor’s visit they would ask about bleeding and then when I was checked in one of the nurses commented on how it was actually really uncommon I had gone this long with no bleeding and this situation was common for placenta previa patients. This is where I wish I would have known this prior, however, on the flip side maybe ignorance was bliss. We don’t know what triggered the bleeding but when my parents were cleaning up the bathroom they found what they thought might have been my mucus plug which would make a lot more sense.

Once I left recovery they wheeled my bed into the NICU and I was able to see Harrison fully for the first time before going to my postpartum room. From there, I rested and recovered. He was born on December 26th at 9:53 AM and it wasn’t until December 27th at 12 AM when I was able to hold him for the first time. This was REALLY hard! It felt really weird to have gone through this major surgery, and deliver my son but not have him with me. It’s the hardest thing to explain, I felt like I just had a normal surgery and was recovering instead of all those in love happy feelings of giving birth.

After that first visit, we went down every few hours to see him. Unfortunately, since he was on a CPAP machine and an IV was in his umbilical cord we weren’t able to hold him hardly at all. Our families came to visit but he was also on minimal stimulation to help him stabilize so it was just a really weird experience overall for those first few days. In the thick of it, it was all I knew and we had no choice but to persevere and be strong.

I ended up staying 4-nights on the postpartum floor to recover. We would make trips as often as we could to go visit him and sit with him. I think this played a big part in my recovery because I was very motivated to get up and walk around and do everything I could to get down to the NICU.

After 4 nights we were discharged and we moved down to the parent’s room in the NICU. This was such a nice amenity because it was like a hotel room in the NICU just down the hall from him. So I would go down in the middle of the night for all the feedings to breastfeed and we would help with diaper changes and temperature readings. Although weird this made it a little easier. We started off getting approved for 4 nights and then eventually got approved for longer. But inevitably the time came for us to go home without him.

This was really hard but I had to keep telling myself this was the best place for him at the time. He was progressing and getting stronger by the day. On January 6th, we were all set to leave and our excitement was through the roof! He was stable, he passed his car seat test, all signs were positive. For whatever reason, as we pulled onto the street of the hospital that morning I told Jared, “I just have this gut feeling he’s not coming home today.” I don’t know why but I just knew in my gut something wasn’t right.

When we got into his room the charge nurse was taking care of him while his regular nurse was on her break. She noticed he kept destatting and things looked off. She went back to look at his history and brought in the doctor and they came to the conclusion he wasn’t ready to go home. This was SO hard, truly one of the hardest days and it seems so silly because so many families were going through much harder things, but to us, this was crushing. However, on the flip side if he wasn’t ready to go home we didn’t want to rush him because heaven forbid something would happen at home alone.

They ended up running A LOT more tests from blood work to spinal taps and tests for bacterial infections, respiratory infections, meningitis, and more. Everything was negative and we came to the conclusion he just needed more time for his lungs to get stronger. Finally, after 16 days he was released to come home!! It was the best day ever!!

Although Harrison’s birth wasn’t exactly how I envisioned it, it was exactly how he was meant to enter the world. The doctors and nurses in the NICU were angels and I have so much respect for them and the hard work, love and care they put into each baby and each shift. By spending time in the NICU, we were able to learn so many tips and tricks that definitely made the transition at home easier.

It’s been 6 weeks since his birth now and we are soaking up all the snuggles and working on gaining weight!